Growing Up

They say "Growing up is hard to do." I agree. Giving up the ease of childhood for the stress and difficulties of adulthood can be hard. But today, a day when I am really learning that I have grown up, I am happy to be an adult - even with all of the responsibilities that it entails.

Why am I so reflective today? Because I did my taxes. I know, it doesn't seem like something to get reflective about. In fact, I am sure most people would prefer to not even think about taxes. I myself was putting them off. I convinced myself I needed to buy a new printer before doing my taxes (which I did, and while not a vital purchase, I am reveling in my new found freedom to print anything, at any given moment). When I could think of no more excuses, I started my taxes. I have NEVER done my taxes without supervision before. In fact, last year was the first year I did them myself - but I had my mother sitting right next to me, monitoring my every click (again, as a Millennial, I do my taxes on the internet - I am still working on the trust thing). But this year, I couldn't have my mom next to me. This year I have moved away and left my childhood back in Minnesota.

I knew that it was important for my development into my own person to move away from home. There have been plenty of days when I miss the plains of the Midwest and the comfort of having my parents right next to me. Then there are days like today. Today I learned that I can do it on my own. Today I learned that I don't need to have my mom sitting right next to me, watching my every move.

I was so lucky to be raised in a home where I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted. My parents loved me and cared for me, even when the woes of adolescence had a strong grip on my attitude. I had constant back-up, help was always right there. I remember needing to get to the community college to take a final while in high school during a blizzard. My car couldn't handle the roads. So my dad left work and ferried me to and from my test. And when it was time to put my dear dog Molly down, my mom left work to hold me while I cried. I have always been so lucky.

Moving to Maine was a huge risk. I left a lot behind. It has been hard and scary. But, also so fulfilling. I was blessed to learn what I wanted to do with my life early and work for it. I was blessed to be offered a job in which I was given responsibility and leadership. And I learned, tonight, that I don't need my parents right here, even when doing something so grown up as filing my taxes.

Don't get me wrong, I still need my parents. I turn to them for advice and comfort. And tonight, I called to brag about just how grown up their daughter has gotten. I also know that if I need them, they will be here before the sun rises. Thanks mom and dad, I couldn't have gotten this far without you.

So, tonight I am celebrating my adulthood with an Oreo cookie and glass of wine. A low key celebration, though reminiscent of my life in Maine. Hard to believe filing my taxes would lead me to reflect on my journey into adulthood, but it has.