“You shall not commit adultery.”

BTW: Before I begin.  Don’t ever Google ‘commit adultery.’  Even if your intentions are pure, like trying to figure out if it has more meanings than what we all know.  The sites you will be suggested to are not something you would your grandmother knowing about – which is my litmus test for just about everything.

Anyway, because the extent of my research abilities begins and ends with Google, I don’t know if there is something more to committing adultery than what meets the eye.

Again, this seems like a fairly easy one for me.  Since I am not currently in a partnered relationship, committing adultery is not something I am too worried about.  I would need a boyfriend first, thank you very much.  No, I’m not bitter…well maybe a little bit.

But, nonetheless this is what I will think about this week in the midst of my life.  Hopefully I can find ways to make it relevant, even to single gals like me!

Revelancy

“You shall not murder.”


This was the commandment I worked on this week. I am pleased to report I did not murder anyone all week long. Nor did I kill, which is different people tell me. Since I am a vegetarian no animals died for me this week, and I did not kill any bugs. So, I could just leave it there and say I was successful for the week. But, that is much too simple for me. This commandment got me thinking about the topic of relevancy.

I have a feeling one of the reasons the 10 commandments are not really discussed anymore, or at least taken seriously, is because they don’t seem relevant. The commandment not to murder probably doesn’t seem very relevant to someone like me, who has never had the compulsion to murder. Nor do I spend much time around those who have murdered, though some of my behavioral health patients have murdered in the past, and others feel a desire to, but really don’t want to. Anyway, not murdering is not hard for me and most people I interact with. Because of that, people may say this is no longer something ‘normal’ people need to think about too much.

But maybe that is not right. Maybe we do need to think about. Like the other commandments I have considered throughout my Life Experiment, I have decided they all still speak to us in some way. And the very fact they were written down and given so much importance in our faith traditions make them important to take seriously. But how does one do that when murder will probably never be a part of one’s life?

The reality is, murder is a part of our lives. Everyday. Everyday we are confronted by murder. On television, in movies, in books, on the internet. We are confronted everyday by the reality there are people in the world, in our towns and neighborhoods, who will intentionally take another person’s life. And we are so bombarded by this reality, it does not carry the emotional weight it should for us.
Yes, sometimes a murder becomes a big issue and many people start to talk about it. The Treyvon Martin murder for example. This has, rightly so, been the source of a great deal of talk and emotions. It should be. But how many other young, black men have been murdered since Treyvon’s death? We are most certainly not talking about that. And I think one of the reasons is because we have become de-sensitized by it. I know I certainly have.

But then I am choosing to focus my time and energy on a commandment people may tell me is no longer relevant. But it is. And what it has taught me this week is murder is against God. It damages the intricate fabric of God’s Creation in a way which can never be repaired. We are called by God not to take this lightly. It is written in stone: Do not murder.

So, I shall not murder. And more importantly, I shall not gloss over the murders of others. I will acknowledge the tear in the fabric of life, and grieve the loss. And I will do what I can to make sure those who have lost their lives will not be forgotten or become just another name on a stat sheet.

Religion and Politics

“There are two topics people should never talk about with one another: religion and politics.”  This is a problem for me, since I talk religion day and night and politics is a passion of mine.  But, where did this ‘advice’ come from and why does it exist in the first place?

Here is my theory: A person’s religious beliefs are very personal.  A person will believe what they will believe and, at least in my experience, are rarely open to suggestion.  The same is true for politics.  A person’s political stance on just about anything is for personal reasons.  Therefore it is difficult to change a person’s mind.  So, both religion and politics boil down to personal beliefs, one’s which are not changed easily.  Also, both can carry a great deal of emotional weight.  This can be proven in any conversation between a person who strongly believes one thing and a person who equally strongly believes in another.  If those two ‘things’ – whatever the thing is – disagrees or contradicts each other, passionate disagreement will exist. 

Therefore, people say don’t bother discussing either religion or politics.  A fight is inevitable.  Perhaps, but I still disagree.

Even though, as I outlined above, both religious beliefs and political stances more often than not boil down to very personal motivators, they are not personal issues.  A person’s religious life is rarely contained to just themselves.  A religious life, practiced to its fullest extent, will put a person in relationship with others.  Those very personal beliefs will effect how people engage with a neighbor, an animal, a relationship, the poor, and the wealthy.  And the exact same can be said of a person’s political beliefs.  Neither of these two “hot-button” issues are purely individualistic.  And because we live in a community, a community with other people who have their own strong opinions, then we must discuss religion and politics.

The reason I am writing all of this is because I have been asked to write an endorsement for a state senate candidate.  Not only am I writing her an endorsement, I am on her campaign cabinet with the auspicious title of field director.  She is totally awesome by the way, check her out: www.danaforme.com

When I was asked to write her an endorsement, I asked if she would like me to sign it with Rev. in front of my name.  Yes, the enthusiastic response I was given.  And a political endorsement written by someone with Rev. in front of their name draws together religion and politics in a very real way. 

But, it is my religious beliefs which inform my political stance, and it’s my political ideals which inform my religious under-pinning.  The two cannot be separated from one another.  My strong desire for justice and equally cannot be attributed to just my religion or my politics – they are both inter-mingled.  I can passionately argue for women’s rights using religious speech or political speech.  Because I live in a community, and engage with that community, my religion and my politics will both be very visible.  I will speak about both with humbleness but conviction.  And I will listen to others with equal humbleness and conviction.

I am honored to have been asked to write an endorsement for a state senate candidate who embodies the political ideals my religious beliefs call for.  And as a political Reverend I will approach my task, not afraid to draw together two ‘touchy’ subjects, but rather to engage with them in a way that encourages others to do so as well.

Quotes

I have been collecting quotes in all of the reading I've been doing lately.  And I have wanted to share a couple of really powerful ones.  No better place than here!

"Let us sing now, not in order to enjoy a life of leisure, but in order to lighten your labors.  You should sing as wayfarers do - sing, but continue your journey.  Do not be lazy, but sing to make your journey more enjoyable.  Sing, but keep going." - St. Augustine

 "The darkness is still with us, O Lord.  You are still hidden and the world which you have made does not want to know you or receive you...You are still the hidden child in a world grown old...You are still obscured by the veils of the world's history, you are still destined not to be acknowledged in the scandal of your death on the cross...But I, O hidden Lord of all things, boldly affirm my faith in you.  In confessing you, I take my stand with you...If I make this avowal of faith, it must pierce the depths of my heart like a sword, I must bend my knee before you, saying, I must alter my life.  I have still to become a Christian." - Karl Rahner

"When a bird remains long on the ground it thereby weakens its wings and its feathers grow heavy.  Then it rises, flaps its wings and swings itself up till it takes to the air and glides into flight.  The longer it flies, the more blissfully it soars, refreshing itself, hardly alighting on the earth to rest.  So it is with the soul: the wings of love have taken from it the desire for earthly things.  We must prepare ourselves in the same way if we wish to come to God.  We must rise on wings of longing up to him." - Mechtild of Magdeburg

Not so Hard

This week's commandment does not give me the same level of worry last week's commandment did.

"You shall not murder."

Right now I am feeling pretty confident I will not murder this week, and I mostly certainly hope I never will.  I will, however, reflect on the commandment this week and think about how it can still be relevant for today's 'average, non-murdering type person.'

But, I wanted to share some more about my Sabbath.  On Friday I posted I needed Sabbath.  It had been a really long, hard week.  I was tired and cranky.  I need refreshment.  So I made that my priority this weekend.  I didn't have a list of chores to do.  I turned down an invitation to participate in something.  Essentially, I just sat still and breathed.  And it was wonderful.  Today I felt refreshed and ready to take on the world.  Even at the gym this morning, I was feeling good.  And as I am on-call this week, I will need lots of stand-by energy for whatever may come up.

The biggest lesson I learned was not to let it get so bad.  Not to wait until God slaps you in the face with a commandment you need more than you realize.  I hope to incorporate Sabbath into my life regularly.  I need to regularly refresh myself so I am prepared to take on whatever comes my way and continue to live out my calling to care for others.  I hope you can do the same.

I need Sabbath

Boy, do I ever.  I am in the crankiest mood.  And you know, what, nearly everyone I have encountered today has been in an equally cranky mood.  Even people in other states.  I think Friday the 13th has something to do with it.

Anyway, this week's Commandment to live out is keeping the Sabbath.  Originally I was worried that it would not be possible, since I am preaching on Sunday and thought I would have to write my sermon on Saturday.  But I have it done already.  This means I have no plans for tomorrow.  It will be my Sabbath day.  And I can't wait.

All day today I have been thinking about tomorrow and my intentional Sabbath.  It has helped me to keep a fake smile plastered to my face today while people were rude to me.  I am craving Sabbath.  It may in fact start tonight. 

I wonder if that is the point of Sabbath.  Knowing a day of rest is coming, a day when we stop working and stop hurrying, helps us to get through the work week.  And when Sabbath does finally come, we can thank God for the opportunity to sit still and just breathe. 

I don't know exactly how tomorrow will unfold.  I do know I will go to the gym, but I will take my time and not try to rush.  I will do some baking - my idea of a really good time, seriously.  Then reading, maybe go to a consignment shop.  Essentially, I will slow down.  And I will thank God for the time.  So, when I enter into worship on Sunday morning, called to lead this wonderful congregation, I will be refreshed and ready to share the Good News of Christ's on-going resurrection. 

I hope the rest of you can find some time for Sabbath, especially when you need it the most.

Moderation

You won’t believe it, I turned my television on last night! I was asked by someone who I work with how it was going not watching television and I told them it was great and also got on my soap-box about the crud on television. They said something which struck me, “You get to pick what you watch.”

That is true. So, I wondered what would happen if I turned the TV on and watched some cooking shows – which is what I did instead of blogging last night. I watched 2 and a half cooking shows. And you know what, I didn’t feel any different. I didn’t feel like, “I have been missing this!” or “I am calling to cancel my cable right now!” Instead, I felt nothing too interesting. I did turn the television off for dinner and it didn’t go back on. The only things that interested me were cooking shows and I had seen them all already.

This whole experiment has been really interesting for me. I don’t want to be on my high-horse about television, preaching against it, because we do get to choose what we watch. But at the same time, I wasn’t thrilled. I was much more interested in finishing my latest book last night than continuing to watch. But what I did decide is I need to be less strict with myself. I have been all about restriction lately, setting routines, holding back, trying to reign in my life. And that is all well and good, but it should not be a mean to an end. It should be done not because I “should” but because I “want.” Rather than swearing things off completely, what I need to learn is moderation.

The same goes with my weight loss. I am approaching the “maintenance” period, meaning I will have lost the weight I set out to loose but then need to keep it off. That is the time when people usually begin to fail. I have been restricting only, but now I need to learn moderation. And maybe I can begin with TV. I really don’t want to watch much, and I like not watching the news in the morning or evening, too negative or over-sensationalized. But my friend is right, I can pick what I want to watch. I can pick to turn the TV on and off, it is not just one or the other.

And the more I think about it, the more I am excited to watch my morning of cooking shows on Saturday. That is something which makes me exceedingly happy and I have been missing that. But then I can turn the TV off and do something productive – which this Saturday will no doubt be writing a sermon.

And when I must re-learn my entire eating patterns, again, to maintain my weight loss, I will have had some practice in moderation – something I never learned before.

Sex

Well over a month ago I did my first Life Experiment to share with this blog.  I turned the television off for one week. Well, I set out to turn it off for one week.  It has never gone back on.  The silence of my apartment has become a haven for me.

But I am not a total purist.  I don't watch TV at home anymore, but it is on in other places.  For example, the group room on our behavioral health floor has a TV were patients gather to watch.  When I am facilitating one of my groups up there I usually hang out for a few minutes watching TV with other patients.

And my gym has four television sets going all of the time.  When I am exercising I usually stare mindlessly at them.  I can't hear them, so I don't really know what is happening, but they are there.

Now, more often than not the televisions are set to one or two local news stations, CNN, Fox, or MSNBC, and ESPN.  On early Saturday morning there are children's cartoons being played as well.  These are all fine stations to have on, nothing too distracting or disturbing.  But not this morning.

This morning one of the sets was on Comedy Central.  But, it was 5am, so it was too early for regular programming and an infomercial was on.  But not just any infomercial, a 30 minute program selling an over-the-counter drug to increase sexual performance or pleasure.  And about 80% for that 30 minutes was taken up with semi-pornographic scenes of people 'enjoying' this medication.

It was 5am!  And on the television I was essentially watching people have sex, while trying to exercise in a room full of strangers.  I was so uncomfortable.

This is the reason I have given up television, because of things like that.  Sex has become a public entertainment.  Something to be sold and traded.  Not only that, people are so casual about public displays of sex that no one even seemed to be noticing or caring.  In fact a number of people were staring at the television program. 

I literally had to avert my eyes.  I felt my space and spirit had been violated.  And I felt sad for our society and what we now utilize for entertainment.

It wasn't just the station with the pornographic images on it.  As I surveyed the four televisions, one appeared to be focusing on celebrity gossip and another was focusing on some sort of sports scandal.  It was only the local news station, with its regular weather update that felt safe to look at.  Everything else was bombarding me with negativity. 

I was so relieved to get back into my car with the sanity and sophistication of NPR, and even more relieved when I re-enter my apartment silence.

I am probably sounding like a prude.  And believe when I say I really am not.  When friends or family want to talk about extremely personal things, I have no problem with that.  When my patients crack off-color jokes, I laugh along with them (as long as they are not offensive to men or women).  But it was the images which were being broadcasted that really started to bother me.

So often I hear people talking about their worries for up-coming generations of Americans.  This morning I too began to worry.  Children and adults are spending so much time in front of television screens, being de-sensitized to violence and losing the understanding of sexual intimacy, I fear we may be losing our sense of self.  What happens to a person's spirit when confronted with that all day long?

I don't have any answers.  I just needed to share my thoughts and concerns.  And tomorrow at the gym I will be better prepared.  I can't turn off the televisions, but at least I can protect my spirit from them.

Sabbath

My Life Experiment of living out the 10 Commandments continues!  Up this week:

"Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy.  For six days you shall labor and do all your work.  But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work - you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns.  For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested on the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it."

Last night, as I was packing up my desk to get ready for another week, I glanced at my commandment for this week.  I read the above and muttered aloud, "Uh Oh."  I have a feeling this will be a hard one for me.  When am I going to get to the simple ones like "Do not murder"?

But I have committed myself to this experiment and will see it through.  Failures and all.

So, to get my thoughts rolling on the subject of sabbath, I pulled out my Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church circa 1958.  This is a hand-me-down from a good friend and mentor and something I dug out of my storage unit last night (not practicing sabbath apparently) as I prepare for a summer of preaching once a month - unusual for me.  Anyway, here is what this tried and true resource has to say on sabbath:

"It was to be sanctified by the complete abstinence from work (Ex. 20:10) and marked by the doubling of the daily sacrifices (Num. 28:9ff)...The Sabbath served the twofold purpose of being a day set apart for the worship of God (Ex. 31:13-17) as well as for the rest and recreation of man [sic], esp. slaves, and cattle (Deut. 5:14)...One of the Pharisees' chief grievances against Christ was that he declared the Sabbath to have been made for man [sic] and not vice versa (Mk. 2:27), thus freeing men [sic] from an obligation which had become intolerable."

 The definition goes on, basically saying because the Resurrection and Pentecost both happened on a Sunday, early Christians chose that day to be the Sabbath.

What I think I want to reflect on this week is Christ's teaching that the sabbath was made for people and not people made for the sabbath.  I have never really understood what that means and I intend to give it some thought.

But, despite my trepidation of trying to find time and space for sabbath rest, something I have never been good at, what is important for me to remember is sabbath rest is not some new age spiritual discipline, coming in and out of fashion.  The ancients of my faith took it seriously and thus so should I.  I am curious to see where my week will lead me.

An Interesting Exercise

First, my apologies for not posting yesterday.  The Holy Week schedule has been a bit much, but I have been blessed to move through this important time with the church.  I eagerly await the Easter Dawn!

But, back to my week of trying not to use the Lord's name wrongly - better known as the Commandment not to take the Lord's name in vain.

It did not go so well, I should just admit it up front. 

All week long I caught myself expressing frustration, surprise, disgust, excitement, and a myriad of other emotions by using the Lord's name.  The only up side of the whole experiment was I would notice myself doing it and try to stop.  One step at a time I guess.

But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if I was truly using the Lord's name wrongly.  I am not sure I was.  Let me explain:  I was, early in the week, doing my rounds on new patients.  These are just quick visits to make sure people know a chaplain is available in the hospital.  I do a super quick assessment to make sure they have good support, don't require any special religious sacraments, and to show them a friendly face.  I like to do most of my rounds about 12:30pm when people are awake and eating lunch.  That way I can be sure to catch them in their rooms and not out at a test.  I walked into one room of a woman who had just had a joint replacement.  She was sitting up in her chair and eating her lunch.  I was very quick and told her right off I would not keep her from her lunch but I just wanted to say a quick hello.  She was polite and stated she had lots of friends and family and no religious or spiritual beliefs, therefore a chaplain would not be needed.  The whole visit lasted probably one minute.  I wished her a speedy recovery and let her get back to eating.  As I walked out I heard her say, "Jesus Christ" in a way that clearly was to express exasperation.  I felt this was using the Lord's name in vain.

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.  When people come into the hospital they have to meet dozens of people and each of those people have to do their own assessments.  It is over-whelming and exhausting.  No doubt she was feeling that way.  And as someone who was clear with me she had no religious or spiritual beliefs, she was probably frustrated to be interrupted once more.  I understand that.  But when I over-heard her mutter Jesus' name in a way which was not done in reverence or prayer, but rather in a way show a sense of hostility, I felt offended (of course I did not confront her about that, it is most certainly not my place to force my beliefs on anyone else).

I have another story.  When I was little, probably under 10, my mother and grandmother and I drove from Minnesota to South Dakota for a long weekend.  We stopped frequently along the way since I was young and my grandmother old.  We were staying at a hotel with an outdoor pool.  I loved to swim back them, so I was swimming around the pool with my mom and grandmother watching me.  At one point I surfaced and said, "Jesus Christ!"  I don't remember why or what had happened, but I do know I was trying to express a since of frustration or anger.  My grandmother instantly reprimanded me, saying never to speak of Jesus like that. 

I didn't know.  I wasn't raised in a church.  But my grandmother was raised in a Methodist church and then converted to Catholicism when she married my grandfather.  Her faith was very much a part of her life.  She did not want to hear someone speak of Jesus in a way which was clearly to express a selfish, negative emotion.

What I have decided this week is we should invoke the name of God and Jesus in our lives.  But when we do so, we should make sure we are doing it with a heart of prayer.  When I mutter under my breath, "Good Lord" because I am frustrated, it is not done as a prayer.  But when I hear a patient's story filled with pain and hurt, and respond with "Oh my God", it is a prayer.  I am invoking my faith and trust that God is with my patient through all of their struggles.

I will never be perfect in this, but I intend to continue to be mindful.  My faith has sustained me through so much and I will continue to seek ways to remind myself and others of God's awesome love and presence.  But I will do so not to cause harm or increase hatred, but to increase love and devotion.

Now, I am going to start my Easter baking and keep an eye out on the huge Easter egg hunt happening across the street in the park.  Oh my God, what a blessing all of this is.

Were You There

What does it mean for us today?

Hmmm...

I have nothing to say today.  I can't think of anything at all, except to say I have nothing to say.  But I made a commitment to write a post five days a week, so here I sit.

I read somewhere writers must write at least 300 words a day in order to keep up with the habit of writing.  So, that is what I will do.

Oh, and I also read somewhere that if you don't know what you are going to write about, but you still want to write, just sit down at the time and place you usually write and start writing.  They probably didn't mean to inflict that complete randomness to those people who are kind enough to read this blog.  But, nonetheless, here I sit.

I guess in some ways, writing is a bit like exercising.  You don't really want to do it, and it takes a lot of dedication, but you almost always feel like you have accomplished something afterwards.  And when my alarm goes off at that un-godly hour of the morning, I put my feet on the ground and just get up without even thinking.  I hope writing can work like that too.

Oh, here is something interesting (maybe this whole sitting down and writing thing really works!).  I read somewhere else that when people who are in recovery from addiction more often than not they will throw that emotional energy into something else.  And for many people that is religion.  I agree with this.  I have met many people who have told me they found their "Lord and Savior, who saved me from the demon drink."  But I wonder if it is actually the other way around.  Rather than their faith helping them reach sobriety, they were able to do that momentous thing themselves.  But in order to fill the void of their addiction, they turn to religion instead.

I am not saying at all this is a bad thing.  If people can find a religious or spiritual tradition which brings them comfort and peace, then thanks be to God.  No need to question how they got there.

And in some ways, I am wondering if this same phenomena is happening to me.  There is a type of void left which I am no longer filling with food.  And lately a lot of my energy has been going into deepening my faith and supporting my church.  Which I think is wonderful.  Again, no need to question a good thing.

Alright, that should be about 300 words, yes?  Sorry to inflict such randomness on you all, but I am in that kind of mood today.  Maybe I will go read my Lenten devotional now (ha ha, but, actually, I am serious).

Burn-Out

Sometimes I worry about burn-out.  For other people in my profession and for me.  Today I am worried about it for one particular person, someone in the same profession as me.  I can see hints of it in his eyes.  And, no, I am not really talking about myself in the way kids would say, "let's say I have this friend who..."  I am not worried about burning out.  At least not today.

Burn out is a very real problem in our country.  Forced by 'society' to push ourselves to the max, to say yes rather than no to keep our jobs, we are a culture on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion.  The hospital as a term for this - presyncope.  Syncope is fainting.  Presyncope is almost fainting, getting really close, but not quite there.  We are a culture which in many respects is presyncopal.  And somehow this has become the standard way of functioning.

I am 28, three years into my professional life.  And I think it is absolutely vital I begin to think about, and prevent against, burn out.  At only 28.  It makes me sad.  Today I had to defend my weekends, which I did, strongly.  I had to say no I would not be willing to do something because I have only two days off a week.  And you know what?  It felt very empowering to say no and advocate for myself.  But I think I may be the exception.

My colleague, in whose eyes I can see the presyncopal systems of burn-out, told me he likes to say yes all of the time.  The need to please and receive positive reinforcement is so strong, he has lost himself.  And I called him on it and he heard me.  And he agreed.  But I fear what could have happened to him, or to me, if I had not seen it.

I think the #1 reason most of the patients get admitted to the psych floor is because they focus all of their attention on other people and they get completely lost in the mix.  They empty themselves out over and over again, but when a crisis erupts, they have nothing left to protect themselves. 

I am not saying my colleague is going to be a psych patient anytime soon, but I am saying I can see some of the same signs.  We have to protect ourselves, hold some things in reserve so we have it when it is needed.

Lately I have been trying to figure out how to talk about, and suggest, selfishness.  Selfishness is usually seen as a 'bad' and not a 'good'.  We are told not to be selfish and put other people first.  Which is true most of the time.  But if we are putting other people first so much our own selves become last, then what?  How can a person survive a life like that?

I have yet to figure out the correct way of talking about selfishness in a way which makes people see it as a necessary part of life.  I have yet to figure out how to explain the fine line between self-care and self-centeredness.  But I think I must keep trying.  Not just for the sake of my colleague or my patients, but for me as well.

I hope you do something to take care of yourself today.  I hope it is something self-focused and not doing for others disguised as self-care.  Me?  I am going to read, do some devotions, eat a hearty dinner, read some more, go to bed early, and exercise my body early tomorrow.  That is how I take care of myself.  How about you?

This One Will be Tough

Week Three of the 10 Commandments:

"You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name."

Full disclosure right up front - this one will be really tough for me.  At least I think so.

What is considered 'wrongful use'?  I know society thinks of this commandment at "Don't take the Lord's name in vain."  So, I looked up vain.  There were no insights there.  All of the definitions I already knew - vainly.  It essentially boils down to saying something to show disrespect.

But is making 'wrongful use' and 'name in vain' the same thing?  I am not sure.  Can we make wrongful use of speaking of God but not do so as a sign of disrespect?  Maybe.  I will need to think about it.

But, I already know many of the phrases I use might be considered disrespectful towards God by some.  Here are a few of my favorites:
 - "Lord have mercy" - typically said in exasperation when someone does something...odd
 - "Good Lord" - again typically said in exasperation when I am feeling over-whelmed
 - "OMG" - does it count if I only say the acronym?
 - "Holy S***!" - not sure if that one even counts, but it might.

Those four phrases are a part of my everyday discourse, though I do try not to actually swear in front of my patients, with only limited success (you would be amazed at the things people say to me and do in front of me).

But, the more I think about it, it seems most of the time my perhaps questionable phrases about God are actually towards God, by which I mean prayer.  Maybe I am praying.  Again, I will need to think about it more. 

On Friday I will reflect on my week of trying really hard not to make wrongful use of the Lord's name.  I am pretty curious to see how this will turn out.

*A quick update on commandment two.  I think I finally really got it and put it into action.  I put away the scale.  It had become an idol.  I was practically worshiping the evil little device.  My life would bend to its will.  So, I put it away, only to come out once a week for my weekly weigh in.  No more twice (yes, I said twice - totally disgusting) a day.  Better late than never, but I finally got it.  Thanks be to God!