Burn-Out

Sometimes I worry about burn-out.  For other people in my profession and for me.  Today I am worried about it for one particular person, someone in the same profession as me.  I can see hints of it in his eyes.  And, no, I am not really talking about myself in the way kids would say, "let's say I have this friend who..."  I am not worried about burning out.  At least not today.

Burn out is a very real problem in our country.  Forced by 'society' to push ourselves to the max, to say yes rather than no to keep our jobs, we are a culture on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion.  The hospital as a term for this - presyncope.  Syncope is fainting.  Presyncope is almost fainting, getting really close, but not quite there.  We are a culture which in many respects is presyncopal.  And somehow this has become the standard way of functioning.

I am 28, three years into my professional life.  And I think it is absolutely vital I begin to think about, and prevent against, burn out.  At only 28.  It makes me sad.  Today I had to defend my weekends, which I did, strongly.  I had to say no I would not be willing to do something because I have only two days off a week.  And you know what?  It felt very empowering to say no and advocate for myself.  But I think I may be the exception.

My colleague, in whose eyes I can see the presyncopal systems of burn-out, told me he likes to say yes all of the time.  The need to please and receive positive reinforcement is so strong, he has lost himself.  And I called him on it and he heard me.  And he agreed.  But I fear what could have happened to him, or to me, if I had not seen it.

I think the #1 reason most of the patients get admitted to the psych floor is because they focus all of their attention on other people and they get completely lost in the mix.  They empty themselves out over and over again, but when a crisis erupts, they have nothing left to protect themselves. 

I am not saying my colleague is going to be a psych patient anytime soon, but I am saying I can see some of the same signs.  We have to protect ourselves, hold some things in reserve so we have it when it is needed.

Lately I have been trying to figure out how to talk about, and suggest, selfishness.  Selfishness is usually seen as a 'bad' and not a 'good'.  We are told not to be selfish and put other people first.  Which is true most of the time.  But if we are putting other people first so much our own selves become last, then what?  How can a person survive a life like that?

I have yet to figure out the correct way of talking about selfishness in a way which makes people see it as a necessary part of life.  I have yet to figure out how to explain the fine line between self-care and self-centeredness.  But I think I must keep trying.  Not just for the sake of my colleague or my patients, but for me as well.

I hope you do something to take care of yourself today.  I hope it is something self-focused and not doing for others disguised as self-care.  Me?  I am going to read, do some devotions, eat a hearty dinner, read some more, go to bed early, and exercise my body early tomorrow.  That is how I take care of myself.  How about you?