My parents are coming to visit. Those of my readers who are about my age, live away from their parents, still depend on them for emotional support though nothing else, all have similar reactions to that sentence. Parents coming to visit is wonderful. I love my parents. But it can also be a bit, shall we say, stressful. Hosting parents in your own home, that you maintain and pay for yourself, can be a bit over-whelming.
My reaction is always to make sure they see I am doing alright. I want them to see I can live in a whole other time zone and do well. I don't require over-sight to remind me to do the laundry or make the bed. I am aware of the need to wash the floors and take the garbage out. I'm all grown up. And I want to prove it to them, even if they already know it.
I prepare by cleaning obsessively. I bleached my bathroom ceiling, I kid you not. It is a chore I have to do about twice a year, but parents coming to visit is a good motivation. I also cleaned the inside of the microwave. Not my favorite task, and actually not completely necessary since it was pretty clean anyway, but I did it. I even dusted, the chore which I hate the most.
So, I put things away and make sure the apartment looks like "a grown up lives here." But, there is more of it for me. I want to make sure my parents know I am doing just fine.
I was in my mid-twenties when I moved from the Midwest to Maine. I have no family here, I am unmarried, and I had never lived outside of the Central timezone. It was going to be just me and Boomer. Being a Millennial, with good supportive helicopter parents, this was a big deal. And I am doing great. I have a good job that pays the bills. The dog is healthy (though perpetually cold). My apartment is usually clean anyway. I always make my bed and then Boomer immediately unmakes it in order to sleep while I work to pay those bills (I'm not bitter, I promise). But there is one thing I will forever be paranoid about. And that is the appearance of my refrigerator.
Let me explain. I moved to Maine in August of 2009. In October of that year, both of my parents came to visit me for the first time. They arrived one evening in a rental care which they drove up from Boston. It was about 9pm. I had asked, repeatedly, what kind of food they wanted me to buy to have in the house when they arrived. Being the good parents they are, they assured me nothing special was required, and we would all go to the grocery store the next day to stock up. So I thought, GREAT! No grocery bills for me that week. I strategically planned out my meals so I would have just enough to eat until they arrived and then eagerly awaited our trip to the grocery store. This was when I was putting the majority of my income into paying off my student loan debt, so while I could afford to eat, I couldn't afford lots of luxuries. Needless to say, at 9pm that night, my refrigerator was pretty bare. I think I had some beer, wine, and chocolate pudding available. And my dad opened my refrigerator and the look of horror that only a parent can muster is forever seared into my memory.
He must have thought, 'Oh my God, my daughter is going hungry! She is not a grown up! What have we done letting her move to Maine all by herself?!?" I instantly started to explain. "Wait," I said. "You said we could all go grocery shopping together! I was just trying to save some money! I eat! I promise!" However, my feelings of not proving myself to be grown up have compelled me to prepare for my parents trip this time a bit differently.
However, my obstacle, is I am working really hard to loose weight (80 pounds down, only 36 left to go!). And I know myself. If it is in the house, and there is lots of it, I will eat it. Don't get me wrong, I eat plenty and very healthy. In fact I have never been healthier in my life. I don't go hungry. But I don't have a lot of access. Just my dinner for the week (I am a big fan of cooking big on Sunday and eating left-overs for the week) and desserts. I don't drink alcohol anymore, nor soda, but I have about 5 water bottles of various sizes. My refrigerator never looks full, but it is not empty. However, wanting to show my parents just how grown up I am by having a stocked fridge, I rearranged it.
I spent, seriously, about 30 minutes moving the food around strategically so it looks like my refrigerator is more full. The crisper drawers are now empty so the exposed shelves all having something on them. Things are closer to the front and not pushed to the back. This is how I prepare for my parent's arrival. Don't judge me.
Oh crap! I need to sweep the stairs! I have to go. I would be curious to hear about how you prepare when your parents visit! And tomorrow I will share with you the lessons I have learned at the gym!
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