Life Lesson Learned at the Gym

It is really interesting where my thoughts go while running on a treadmill.  More often than not I think I have no thoughts, rather I am simply just running, trying to make my mileage for the half-marathon training program I am working on.  And usually towards the end of a long run I am cheerleading myself to make it “one more mile…3/4 of a mile…1/2 a mile…just one more lap, come on baby!”  I think I may have missed my calling as a cheerleader.

Anyway, I thought I didn’t think at the gym, but it turns out I do.  Since I started to run at the gym (when the snow began to fly around here) I have learned some interesting life lessons which can only be attributed to the gym.  These have intrigued me and I think it is my duty to pass them on.

1.)   If the person next to you doesn’t want to talk to you, then don’t talk to them.  This may seem obvious, but apparently it is not.  I don’t know how many times people have tried to start talking to me at the gym.  While I am wearing head-phones.  While running really hard and not able to carry on a conversation.  It drives me nuts!  I talk to people all day long, so when I am at the gym, I am a scrooge and proud of it.  I don’t want to talk to anyone.  I just want to run and leave.  I wish others weren’t trying to be so Tiny Tim-ish and talk to me so much!  But, I have carried this life lesson into my professional life.  Sometimes I get frustrated by patients who don’t want to talk to me.  Then I started to think, maybe their mind-set is, “I just want to get better and leave.”  I can respect that now.  If they don’t want to talk to me, I leave them alone.  Maybe they will pass along this courtesy to their friends who work out at my gym.

2.)   If the person next to you is wearing head-phones, it doesn’t mean they can’t hear you.  Again, something we should all keep in mind.  I always wear my head-phones, so I don’t have to talk to people, but often the music isn’t so loud I can’t hear what is going on around me.  People will say ANYTHING at the gym, typically to their friend on the machine next to them.  And because everyone else seems to have head-phones on, they assume their conversation is private.  It’s not.  And most of what I hear, distressingly, has to do with bodily functions.  I will not share the specifics here, in case you are getting nervous.  The life lesson: if you don’t want to whole world to hear it, then only say it aloud while you are alone.  Period.

3.)   It’s okay to sweat.  This life lesson is directed at the young woman who periodically comes to my gym and doesn’t seem to actually work out.  She wanders from one machine to the next, climbs on for about two minutes.  Spends one of those minutes programming the machine and drinking water.  Then she kinda sorta works out, but not enough to even raise her pulse, let alone break out in a sweat.  Then she stops, drinks more water, wipes down the machine (though it doesn’t need it), and moves onto something else.  I don’t know if it is because she doesn’t really want to be there or doesn’t really want to exercise, or what.  But I have a suspicion she does not want to look sweaty and gross around all of those people.  I just want to pull her aside after one of my work-outs, and trust me that is not pretty…or fragrant, and tell her it’s okay to work hard at the gym.  That is how you know you actually accomplished your purpose there.  Otherwise, it is just a waste of a LOT of money.

4.)   For the love all things, KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON.  I have saved my most important life lesson for last.  I do not care how often you work out, I do not care if you are burning up, I do not care if you think you are doing a public service by taking your shirt off.  Keep.  It.  On.  Nobody wants to see that.  Trust me.  There are a small, though unfortunately dedicated, group of patrons at my gym who feel it acceptable to take their shirts off.  The human body is sacred in all forms, yes, but not something we all need to see.  We have swung too far on the pendulum from the prudishness of the ‘50s to the total lack of privacy of the ’10s.  Let me say it again, KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON!

There, my life lessons learned at the gym.  Hopefully soon the sun will melt the snow enough that I can leave this educational place and run on the roads.

Tomorrow, I will share with you all why I am convinced I am not just being superstitious when it comes the full moon and its effects on…everything!